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I’m a professional hair and make up artist raised and based in Nairobi, with seven years of experience in the Hair and Make up industry. I pride myself on being a fun, creative and energetic person that seeks to infuse my talents into my work and the content I create.

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Balancing Who I Love With What I Love

Finding a good balance in life is an exhausting, never-ending challenge and finding the “mommy balance” takes that challenge to a whole new level. As I write this I’m nursing baby Hero, while eating breakfast, while putting a load of diapers in the laundry (Yes, I’m cloth diapering), all the while trying not to drop granola on her head. 🙂 I’m constantly trying to find the balance between giving her my undivided attention, multitasking to complete all my new chores and getting to work on time for my first client. (That’s right, I’m back to work)

I had to figure out that this elusive ‘balance’ is in-fact not a destination but a collection of small choices made every day that culminate in feeling happy and fulfilled. Keep in mind that every persons particular balance is different as we all have different needs and circumstances, in fact, it’s as unique to you as your fingerprint. Finding out what your needs are and not neglecting them is the key. It’s extremely important for you and for your baby too because a happy mommy is a good mommy.
I’m no expert but I’m on my path and learning every day and in this blog post I I want to share three things I’ve learned about balance in hopes that it helps inspire you to find yours.

# 1 : Guilt serves no purpose here.

You are not going to get it right all the time. As much as you try, you WILL drop food on your babies head 🙂 and mess up their schedule and forget their hat on a trip out, so just roll with it, because much as I wish it were true, becoming a mother doesn’t mean you become perfect.
Go back to work if it makes you feel fulfilled. Have that glass of wine, even if you had one yesterday. Go get your hair done. Guilt serves no purpose here.
As mothers we’re are more informed than ever yet somehow we tend to feel less adequate than ever before. There’s too much comparison and criticism on social media and not enough focus on a mothers instinct. You know what you need and what your baby needs. Forget doing “the right thing” and do what feels right.

# 2 : Focus on you just as much as you focus on your baby.

Most of us have to be reminded of this because self-love doesn’t come naturally.
Whether it’s exercise, working on your mental health, focusing on your recovery or eating right, you need to look after yourself!! This is not selfish! I realized pretty quickly that the job of looking after myself didn’t end when my pregnancy ended, it continued and quite honestly it intensified.
I learned that if I didn’t eat and sleep enough my milk supply went down. If I didn’t go on a small walk or at least get out of the house for a few minutes every day, I’d get stir-crazy and depressed. Acknowledge and accept these needs and address them so that you can be your best self for your little one. I have a post-it hanging up on my bathroom mirror that reads…
‘It is your job to be YOU, in the most fully-expressed and supported sense possible. This is the version of your that your child needs.’

# 3 : Don’t forget about your partner.

You may not believe it but you need your partner. Don’t forget about the ally who stood by you during your pregnancy and your childs birth. This person still needs love and appreciation and needs to be included in the special bond you have with your baby. As a mother you’re the primary caregiver, especially of a newborn and you have all that you need within you to keep your little one alive and happy. But making the effort to include your partner and even let them take the wheel sometimes will have long-term benefits to both you and your child. It’s a good way to encourage early, all- important father/child bonds to form and has the added benefit of allowing you to take a break when you need it. If you never allow your husband to feed or change the baby in the first 6 weeks, chances are neither him nor the baby are going to be so willing/comfortable to do it when the baby is say 3 months old and you’re finally ready to go out for a girls night or a yoga class. Trust me it’s not easy to let go of the reins but it’s worth it.
It’s a trying time for everyone so above all, stay patient and be kind, after all, if everything goes according to plan he’s the one you’re going to be stuck getting old with after the babies are grown.

Now that I’ve written this, I’ll have to come back and read it all again tomorrow knowing that I will probably have felt guilty, neglected myself, hoarded my baby or snapped at my partner and need to refocus and rebalance. But finding the perfect balance can be a fun game, and even if you mess up today there’s always tomorrow.

1 Comment

  • Tina

    I loved this!!!

    Can relate to each and every word. So good to know I am not the only one who feels these exact emotions..lol..kudos girl!

    June 20, 2018 at 9:56 am

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